he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize