Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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