I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
