I didn't shave. On purpose
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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