i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
