What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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