Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
