why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
where does the pee come out of this thing
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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