just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
