I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
