His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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