You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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