I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
