just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
