good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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