I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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