It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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