then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
