your thong is hanging out like whoa
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
