the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
