Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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