Got a toothbrush?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
