Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
