Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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