just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
