WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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