With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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