All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
