I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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