Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
