did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
