i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
