Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
