wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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