Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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