I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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