If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
