There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
