I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
