if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
