im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do vagina's smell?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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