yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
