Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize