i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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