i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
only if we run a train.
done.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
