All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
