she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
