thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
