We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
