KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
