I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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