i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
