just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
