I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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