three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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