barbara walters just said penis...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Operation Purity has been aborted
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize