Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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