What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
