it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
