is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
