i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
