I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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