Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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