Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
