Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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