I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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