I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
