Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
