White coat. Heels.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize