I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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